Sadly, we have an epidemic of “bad bosses” in our country. The American Psychological Association (APA) conducted a survey revealing that 75% of employees report their boss as the worst and most stressful part of their jobs, and 60% would take a new boss over a pay raise. A survey by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) found that 84% of US workers blame bad managers for creating unnecessary stress. And according to a Gallup survey, 50% of employees have left a job to get away from their manager at some point in their career. A Harris poll found that harmful behaviors displayed by bad bosses include setting unreasonable expectations (51%), micromanaging (49%), and credit-stealing (48%).
Bad bosses harm morale, performance, and retention – and are detrimental to our health! Harvard and Stanford researchers found that the environment created by bad bosses has negative health effects equivalent to being exposed to significant amounts of secondhand smoke. And multiple studies showed that working for a bad boss can increase the chance of having a heart attack by as much as 50%. Wow!
In contrast, multiple studies and surveys have shown that good bosses help employee satisfaction, retention, morale, and productivity. And teams led by good bosses have higher levels of collaboration and more positive cultures. Fortunately, there are proven ways to help us become good bosses. Let’s explore some of these.
How To Become a Good Boss
Here are 10 of the proven ways to help make sure we are good bosses:
1)Pursue Results AND Relationships. A large survey by James Zenger focused on finding what leadership characteristics made leaders “great” in the eyes of their employees. Two characteristics looked at were “results focus” and “people focus.” He found that leaders who were primarily focused on people were considered great just 12% of the time, and leaders primarily focused on results were seen as great only 14% of the time. But leaders who balanced their approach and focused equally on results and people were seen as great a whopping 72% of the time (sadly, a study by David Rock showed that only one percent of leaders do that balance well).
2)Lead by Example. A good boss shows the behaviors and values they expect from the team. This includes treating people with respect, being accountable, staying calm under pressure, acting ethically and with integrity, and showing a positive and optimistic attitude. As leadership expert John Maxwell likes to say, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.”
3)Develop a Sense of Purpose. A good boss develops a team mission (what we do), a vision (where we are headed) and explains the why behind what the team does and the importance to all team stakeholders (i.e. investors, customers, employees). CEO Frances Hesselbein wisely said, “People want to feel that what they do makes a difference.” We also should celebrate the “wins” the team achieves along the way as we meet service standards, complete projects, and meet goals. By doing so we practice the principle of “success breeds success” and create positive momentum. Note: it’s important to involve our team members in developing the future direction so there is a buy-in and we end up with better quality products due to the collective wisdom of multiple people, not just us as the boss.
4)Create a Positive Work Environment. We can work to create a culture of respect, inclusiveness, collaboration, and caring for each other. As Simon Sinek said, “Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.” A positive work culture includes bosses like us avoiding micromanaging our team members (relevant coaching, yes; micromanaging, no). We also need to promote a sense of fairness (not favoritism) and have a psychologically safe environment where people can express their ideas and admit mistakes without reprisals.
5)Demonstrate Empathy. Emotional Intelligence expert Dr. Travis Bradberry explains empathy by bosses as getting into our team members’ skins and understanding things from their perspective. This includes recognizing that our team members are human and treating them as such. Reality is that “life happens” and we all have tough days where we need an extra dose of support and grace. When we show empathy when a team member is going through a tough time, we will gain their trust, support, and they will want to make it up to us when they are able.
6)Show Appreciation and Recognition. Everybody likes to be at the receiving end of recognition and appreciation, including the members of our teams. Taking the time to acknowledge the hard work and achievements of our team members makes people feel valued. We have a variety of ways to express appreciation, both formally (e.g. emails, texts, handwritten notes, gift cards, bonuses, etc.) and informally, such as simply saying “thank you.” I have always loved this quote from Maya Angelou: “People may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”
7)Communicate Effectively. Communication is foundational to a healthy workplace. Richard Branson suggested that “Communication is the most important skill any leader can possess.” As a boss, it’s important for us to communicate clearly, consistently, and with empathy. We should listen to our team members and consider their feedback, suggestions, and address their concerns.
8)Support and Develop Your Team Members. A good boss is someone who invests in their team members’ growth and development. CEO Harvey Firestone spoke to the importance when he said, “The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership.” Millennials and Generation Z employees especially appreciate and respond well when we intentionally provide opportunities to help them learn and grow. Author Jon Tatter speaks to this when he wrote, “The greatest gift of leadership is a boss who wants you to be successful.” One of my favorite quotes is by Branson, who said, “Train people well so they can leave; treat them well so they don’t want to.”
9)Encourage Work-Life Balance. A good boss understands the importance of supporting a healthy work-life balance for our team members. We need to set realistic expectations, be as flexible as reasonable with work schedules, support time off when needed, and respect our team member’s personal time. This means that we should avoid off hour texts and emails unless it’s truly an emergency.
10)Be Humble, Approachable, and Transparent. All managers (bosses) are busy, but to be a good boss we need to be approachable and make time for the most important resource we have – people. I agree with the saying, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” We also need to be humble enough to really listen and consider the ideas and feedback we receive from our team members. Sometimes this may include constructive feedback which may be hard to hear but can help us avoid saying and doing things that fall under the bad boss category. We also need to be transparent. Author David Niu explains, “To be a good boss, you must be transparent. There’s a correlation between worker happiness and workplace transparency. Leaders and managers who offer transparency will earn the respect and devotion of their team.”
Concluding thoughts: Marcus Buckingham summarized research that shows “People don’t leave bad jobs. They leave bad bosses.” Instead of being bad bosses to avoid, we can intentionally work at being attractive good bosses that help employee satisfaction, retention, morale and productivity. Here is a closing quote from Charles Mayo: “A good boss makes their people realize they have more ability than they think they have, so that they consistently do better work than they thought they could.” That is the type of boss I want to be; how about you?
Wes Friesen is a proven leader and developer of high performing teams and has extensive experience in both the corporate and non-profit worlds. He is also an award winning university instructor and speaker, and is the President of Solomon Training and Development, which provides leadership, management and team building training. He serves as the Industry Co-Chair of the Greater Portland PCC. His book, Your Team Can Soar! has 42 valuable lessons that will inspire you, and give you practical pointers to help you — and your team — soar to new heights of performance. Your Team Can Soar! can be ordered from Xulonpress.com/bookstore or wesfriesen.com (under Book) or an online retailer. Wes can be contacted at wesmfriesen@gmail.com or at 971-806-0812.
This article originally appeared in the May/June, 2025 issue of Mailing Systems Technology
